A few years ago, I found myself stuck.
Over the previous year, I had finally committed to niching my podcast production and marketing agency down into the health and wellness space after years of resisting.
It was a largely opportunistic decision, as 70% of our clients were in the wellness space, and we routinely received a large number of referrals to other wellness practitioners and experts.
I figured that by leaning into the niche that I had already been unintentionally assigned, I could speed up the results and without too much effort become the go-to podcast agency for wellness experts.
It was a solid plan, one that I was (and still am) sure would work given a bit of time and consistent effort.
But there was one problem.
I wasn’t sure I really wanted the end result I was working toward.
One of the reasons it had taken so long for me to niche down in the first place was because, at some level, I already knew this.
I knew I wanted to shoot for something different, something bigger, something more personal than a niche service business.
I just didn’t know what.
And so, after spending four years waiting for clarity to arrive, I decided to try a more active approach on seeking out clarity myself and asked my partner Kelly—who was then working as a brand strategist—if she would walk me through the brand strategy process she used with her clients.
As it turns out, not only did I walk away with more personal and business clarity than I’d ever had, but I was also given a framework for taking an active approach to grappling with my biggest challenges elsewhere.
Most Problems Can’t Be Waited Out
So often, when confronted with a big, sticky, problem, we try to wait it out, hoping that the answers will come to us if we just give them enough time.
Sometimes we get lucky and they do.
More often, however, we keep waiting… And waiting… And waiting… All the while, putting up with the daily discomfort of not knowing how to proceed.
Grappling takes a different approach to dealing with uncertainty.
Grappling is about taking control of the situation, engaging in hand-to-hand combat with the challenge facing us, and wrestling with it until we find our way over, under, around, or through it.
It’s hard, sweaty, emotionally draining work. And while it’s almost guaranteed to uncover new solutions and accelerate the time it takes to gain clarity, our first instinct is often to avoid it, and hope the problem will work itself out on its own.
Why Is Grappling So Hard?
The first reason is that we don’t believe clarity can be earned through our own labour.
Instead, we tend to think of it as being bestowed upon us, in a moment of divine inspiration, where the clouds part, the angels sing, and the yellow brick road presents itself in all its clear, unmistakeable glory.
Secondly, grappling forces us to take a long, hard, deep look at our dreams, desires, and goals… and measure them against our current situation and the choices that have led (and kept) us here.
Deep down, most of us know that we have (or could acquire) the tools to achieve our biggest dreams.
We also know, however, that should we find a way to get around the boulder currently blocking our path, we’ve ruled out the biggest excuse for not chasing it wholeheartedly.
No matter how badly we tell ourselves and others that we want to achieve our goal, the truth is that there’s always some level of comfort in the status quo. Getting past the boulder means we have little choice but to move forward into unknown terrain and unknown challenges beyond it.
And so we avoid grappling with the problem.
We sit back, waiting for a clear and obvious sign while simultaneously (secretly) hoping it doesn’t come along and upend the precariously balanced world we’ve created for ourselves.
Grappling takes a bravery we often feel we lack.
It takes a willingness to squeeze, and wrestle and shimmy our way past the boulder in our path and risk finding that once we reach the other side, there’s no going back.
Grappling requires us to step into the unknown with no guarantee that we’re equipped to handle whatever lies beyond our present line of sight.
The good news is that grappling is a skill that can be learned and improved, and in grappling our way around the first boulder, we improve our chances of getting past whatever unseen challenges lie on the other side of it.
So if we’re ready to grapple with the problem at hand, where do we begin?
What Does Grappling Look Like?
It turns out the tools and techniques for grappling with a problem are familiar.
Journaling, talking through, or simply focused thinking on the problem will all help.
The biggest challenges are:
- To quit avoiding our challenges and face them head-on, and then…
- To embrace these simple tools as having the potential to get us to the other side of even our most vexing problems.
From there, we can choose to explore any or all of a number of more specific techniques, including future pacing, visualization, and assumption flipping exercises. One of my personal favourites that I took away from my brand strategy process is the 6 Hats Technique.
It’s worth mentioning that while grappling involves working the problem, actively twisting, contorting, pushing, and pulling on it on an ongoing basis, it also requires a significant amount of empty space and time.
I find that my own breakthroughs and insights almost always come when I’m unplugged and my brain is disengaged. For me, this is most often when I’m out for a walk, without headphones in, allowing my brain to wander and free associate.
For you, the activity might differ, maybe soaking in a bath, working out, doodling, or simply sitting and daydreaming.
Regardless of the activity, in order for the focused, active work of grappling to pay off, we also need to intentionally make space for our subconscious to work its magic, making connections in the background that then bubble up to the surface.
With that in mind, even active grappling requires a certain amount of patience, waiting for inspiration or clarity to arrive.
The difference between waiting as part of the process of grappling and simply attempting to avoid or wait the problem out, however, is that heat has been applied, bringing it to a boil, speeding it up, allowing for chemical reactions to take place that otherwise wouldn’t.
What Are You Grappling With?
Big or small, I’m guessing there’s some problem you’re currently facing that you’ve pushed to the back of your mind.
Maybe it feels too big to tackle.
Maybe you’re scared of what’s on the other side.
Maybe you’re simply too tired to muster the strength or desire to try.
Chances are, you have some feeling that whatever lies in wait on other side of this particular boulder is better than where you’re currently stuck.
If so, my challenge for you is to start grappling with the problem in the smallest way you can.
Spend five minutes journaling about your current feelings or emotions around the problem.
What would the perfect end result look like?
How many bad ideas can you get out of your head and onto paper?
What are all your assumptions about the problem? What if you flipped them? What would need to be in place for the opposite to be true?
If you’re really committed, make a habit of it. Dedicate five minutes a day to your grappling and another 30 minutes of unplugged time.
While it might not happen overnight, you’ll find that if you put in the work and face the problem head on, before long, the answers have a way of presenting themselves.
Explore how to navigate a creative life that matters
This article originally appeared in my weekly Listen Up Newsletter. Each issue is the product of a week of work, and contains something not available for sale.
Fresh perspective, a shot of encouragement when you need it most, and maybe even some genuine wisdom from time to time.
Each week, we explore a different facet of the question “How do we navigate the wilderness of creating work that matters?”
It’s something I’m proud to create and I’d be honoured to share it with you.
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