There’s a decisive moment each and every time we catch the eye of another.

Whether it’s with our partner, best friend, parent, boss, student, or random person on the street, there’s the moment in which we must mutually decide where to go from here.

This moment, brief as it may be is loaded, filled with emotion, bias, and belief about who we each are as humans, both individually and in relation to each other.

In an instant, shame, interest, status, confidence, attraction, curiosity and more are calculated and the result of our internal equation determines what happens next.

Most often, either we or they avert our gaze, and we change topics or carry on our separate ways.

It’s uncomfortable to hold the gaze of another for longer than a passing glance. It feels like we’re putting our entire being on the line by doing so, opening ourselves up for judgment and ridicule.

Or maybe our fear is that the other, our partner in this experience, will see the true depths of our potential, and when the truth is laid bare between us, we’ll no longer be able to hide it away under the cover of rationalizations and excuses.

Holding gaze is a radical act, a declaration that we are worthy of being seen and acknowledged, that we won’t bow to the fear of judgment, that we are willing to open ourselves to vulnerability for the sake of creating something together that otherwise could not exist.

Often drowned out by our own racing thoughts and self-assessments in such a moment is the recognition that whatever thoughts we’re having, the person we’ve locked eyes with is surely having those same thoughts and doubts as well.

We forget that choosing to hold their gaze is as much about being willing to be seen as we are, as it is about being willing to see the other as they are.

Contained in the fraction of a second experience of catching and deciding whether or not to hold another person’s gaze is the entire existence of life as a creator.

Our entire goal as people looking to build an audience around the work we create is to catch the eye of others, to get our work in front of people where it can be seen and engaged with.

In the act of attempting to be seen, however, we inevitably must open our work, and ourselves, up to potential judgment and ridicule.

Much like catching the eye of someone as we pass them in the street, too often we avert our gaze, downplay our work, and withdraw our bid for attention rather than sit through the uncomfortable moment that precedes genuine connection.

If we want to connect, both personally, and through the work we create, we need to be willing to sit through the discomfort, to make the radical statement of holding our gaze steady and declaring that we and our work are worthy of the audience we find ourselves in front of.

In these encounters, we risk being sneered at, looked down on, and called out for our perceived audacity.

But with that risk, we also open ourselves up to being seen, challenged and encouraged to tap further into our best selves, to creating work that impacts and changes people, to see the others who are on this journey with us and find community and connection.

Our goal as creators and as marketers then, is not just to catch the eye of the people we’re seeking to engage with, but to be willing to sit through the initial discomfort and hold their gaze with vulnerability, authenticity, and bravery.

There is no connection without risk.

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Want to hear more about building an audience around work that matters? I think you might enjoy these reads!

https://medium.com/@jeremyenns/your-work-good-enough-11e82fe6178bhttps://medium.com/@jeremyenns/your-work-good-enough-11e82fe6178b