Most of us want to do the work.

We thrive on the feeling of meeting a worthy challenge and our best self rising up to face it, and best it. Of fighting through the hard stuff.

The harder the hard stuff, the better.

Why then, if we take such pride in doing the hard work, do we so often stall, get stuck, or abandon our pursuits when the going gets tough?

Shouldn’t these be the moments that excite us most? That pull our best selves to the surface to meet this new challenge and create our best work?

I think there are a couple of reasons.

Validation Of Our Struggle

While we can certainly feel pride in ourselves, pride feels a whole lot better when we’re acknowledged and lauded by others.

For so many of us, the hard parts in our work are creative, technical or abstract challenges that may not be relatable or understood by a single person we know.

As far as our friends and family might be concerned, one website is pretty much the same as any other, a sales letter is just a bunch of words you jotted down over 30 minutes, and your online course is just you talking about something they don’t understand in front of a camera.

God help you if you create music, art or poetry…

Sure, if we’re massively successful with our creations we may get some of that validation, when they see that we’re making a good living from our work and our art, and creating an impact along the way.

But there’s no guarantee that will happen.

And if our work does fall flat, there’s no consolation prize and perhaps not even an understanding or acknowledgment of our efforts.

That’s a lonely place to be.

Best not to risk it.

Fear Of Not Being Enough

The second reason is that while we want to show up as our best selves, call on all our strength and wit, and truly test ourselves, we also want to know that we’re going to come out on top.

This means that we have to understand going in what the work will consist of, how it will challenge us, and hopefully be similar to something we’ve faced — and bested — before.

By taking on something new and unknown, by stepping beyond the light of the campfire we’ve been sitting warmly around, we risk showing up fully, bringing every fiber of our being to the table and finding that it’s not enough.

That we’re not enough.

This is a truly scary thought.

A thought that can keep us playing small, and safe. Ocassionally tiptoeing up to the edge of the darkness, but only just. Staying within the realm of what we already know we can achieve.

Because if we step outside the firelight, if we’ve brought our best and fallen short in pursuit of work that is meaningful to us and impactful to our communities, what does that say about us?

More than a rejection of our skills and knowledge, failures like these feel like a direct rejection of our vision for the world, and our ability to bring it in to being. A rejection that strikes to the core of who we are and all that we encompass.

Most definitely best not to risk going there.

Better to stay by the campfire with the familiar, the known, the manageable.

How Do We Create Work That Matters?

So what do we do as people with big ideas that will surely consist almost predominantly of hard, emotional, risky work?

First, I think, we need to go into the work knowing that the work hasn’t really begun until we get to the hard stuff.

More, we need to understand that while “the hard stuff” will probably test us mentally, and may even test us physically, it will most definitely test us emotionally.

The hard stuff will expose us in some way, and may even slice down to the core of our very idea of oursleves, leaving it open, raw, vulnerable.

That idea of ourselves might even be broken.

This is the price of admission to dance with the hard stuff.

If we need to ignore this price, ignore the hard stuff in order to begin our work, we probably don’t care enough about the outcome of the work to see it through when the going gets tough.

That’s fine. Better to move onto something else now than waste the time.

But if we’re willing to pay that price, knowing what it is and being prepared for it can help us build up our resources, support and courage for when the time comes to stare it down.

We Don’t Need To Face The Hard Stuff Alone

Secondly, we can accept the fact that we can’t — and don’t have to — get through the hard stuff alone.

We can accept that we probably don’t have all the skills, knowledge, resources and emotional bandwidth to complete our work alone, and we can assemble our support team.

These don’t need to be employees or contractors, they don’t have to be doing the work with or for you. While this type of person or people might be helpful, more important are those that will keep you accountable, motivated, inspired, and supported emotionally.

While we might not want to admit that outside acknowledgment and emotional support matters, for most of us, that’s a lie.

Surround yourself with people who understand both your vision and the work it will take to get there. People who will cheer you on through your successes, and pick you up without judgment after your failures and help you analyze what happened and why.

Understand that the hard stuff will test your ego, will require you to ask for help, to look beyond yourself for answers.

Find teachers, guides, mentors, and use them.

We Don’t Have All The Answers… Yet

Lastly, we need to understand that when we’re taking on the hard stuff, we will fall short.

There’s no way around, over or under it.

At some point, we will be forced to confront the fact that in our current iteration, we are not enough.

But we also need to understand that falling short is not a rejection of us, our work, and our vision for the world. And that our current iteration is not the extent of our potential.

We need to understand that in reality, falling short, even when we’ve brought everything we have to the table, is nothing more than a sign that our current knowledge, strength or resources are insufficient to overcome this current challenge.

Our work then, is to build up our knowledge, our strength, and our resources further before facing down the hard stuff again.

If we believe our work is vital, we’ll return to face down the hard stuff again and again and again and again, as many times as necessary, showing up stronger, smarter, more resilient each time until we’ve become the people we need to be to push through.

The only way to get there is by stepping outside the firelight.

Build Up Your Bravery

You don’t have to confront the truly hard stuff before you’re ready, but I believe we all have some dream inside us that will require us to face it at some point if we’re going to realize that dream.

So take one small step beyond the known. Challenge yourself the tiniest bit further than what you know for sure you can handle.

Then do it again.

Build your fire, and with it your ability, your knowledge, and your belief ever outward.

Don’t think it will be easy.

It takes true bravery to step beyond your known limits and put yourself on the line.

But it’s the only way to prepare yourself for when the time comes to do the work that really matters to you, and facing down the hard stuff that comes with it.

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